I added a comment to Mr. Nichols' blog today concerning ADT and my in-laws, and here's the unexpurgated tale of "ADT, Part II," or, "Why I Don't Particularly Admire My Sister-In-Law, Part MCVII."
The time ADT called here with the message that a smoke detector was going off at my brother-in-law's house, I was on my way out the door to one of my cleaning jobs. This family had an unlisted number, and I'd refused to give that number to both ADT and my sister-in-law, as I wasn't there consistently and didn't want my employers to be bothered by calls for me when I wasn't, you know, there. I- irritated (duh! ADT had long since worn out its welcome with me at this point: there had been HOW many calls, and HOW many actual emergencies?)- let the machine pick up. When I heard the "smoke detector" advisory, though, I started to obsess: okay. It really wasn't MY responsibility (both adults who ACTUALLY OWN THE HOUSE had work numbers AND cell numbers where they could be reached) but I didn't want the house to BURN, for pete's sake!) I left for my job but couldn't stop worrying. I fretted all day long.
When I returned home, ADT had called several more times, so I started to try and reach my sister-in-law, bracing myself for both how I would explain that I hadn't responded promptly, and the tongue-lashing that was sure to follow. She was working at a preschool run by a church, but the church and the preschool were unrelated, so I couldn't call the church and ask for her, and the preschool didn't have a number listed. I finally got through on her cellphone- after repeated attempts- and was all but wetting my pants as I tried to explain that I hadn't IGNORED the summons, exactly, but....my sister-in-law (who'd had to take her phone somewhere that allowed her to get reception, and must've picked up something on the way to eat, as the conversation was punctuated by chewing and swallowing) said, off-handedly, "Oh, the battery's going in one of the detectors. ADT has to come and change it. (Munch. Gulp.)" Me: "Um...couldn't they, like, reach...you?" "I can't have them bothering me at work!" she snapped.
But wait! There's more: I haven't had a key to my in-laws' house in years (gave it back to them when they lost a set), but remain on the list of people ADT calls. One memorable episode involved a call to my home when I didn't know they would be out of town, but on a whim, I called their number, and got the dog walker: she was happy to hear from me, but wasn't so happy once she realized that I- like her- didn't have a current code to punch into the alarm box. My in-laws had told her a code that wasn't the one actually in use at the time. I called the most recent cell number I had (dog walker had a previous number that was no longer in use, ho ho), and reached the in-laws after an hour or two, only to hear an exasperated, "Well, it's ______ birthday! You KNEW that!" As though...oh, never mind. Let's just say that A) I had no idea when ____'s birthday was, and B) that it was the current code.
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4 comments:
Heh... we go to my uncle's vacation home on the northern shore of Lake Michigan every summer. Well, a couple years ago, at 3:00 AM, the fire alarm started going off (and they have one of those super fancy systems) so the fire department showed up because we couldn't figure out how to shut the thing off and tell them there wasn't actually a fire or anything.
The town where the house is has about 300 permanent residents. It took about 10 minutes for the fire department guys to show up. And when they did, they were all in sweatpants or pajamas or something, driving a bunch of little pickup trucks. But I slept through the entire thing. (Which raised some suspicions about my involvement in the matter after it was discovered that it was the bedroom I was sleeping in that had the false alarm)
Ha ha...you didn't have three computers in the room, raising the temperature and tripping the alarm, did you?
We're able to laugh about ADT at my house now that we completely ignore their multiple calls. What ISN'T particularly funny though is that my in-laws are PAYING for this "service!"
Now I know why Maggie blogs. Writing is how Maggie keeps from A)consuming more Valium than she should and B)killing her relatives.
One quick in-law story: I had a sister-in-law (May she rest in peace; died at a tragically-young 50 last summer), who was angry with me (when wasn't she) because I hadn't called to check on the health of another relative. Problem was, I didn't know the other relative was ill. I guess in addition to all of the malicious acts she believed I committed over the years, she also believed I was clairvoyant.
I know you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but I had nearly 30 years of walking on eggshells with her. She got religion during the last 10 years or so, and her attitude generally improved, but I never trusted her. This is someone who wrote me an 8-page letter outlining 10 years of terrible things I had said or done.
It doesn't say such great things about me that when I was going through the divorce, one of the things I saw as a positive was that I wouldn't have to spend any more years pretending to like her.
Gee, Janet, you and I should get together over a big bottle of Valium and-
The "problem" with my extended family (if one could identify just one area) seems to be that every single person suffers, to a degree, from the sin of self-absorption. I was raised to regard myself as so far at the other end of the spectrum as to be nearly invisible: the very idea that I would expect someone else to take an interest in anything I care about...let alone be offended if the attention I feel is owed me is lacking...ugh. I can feel myself becoming even more reclusive than usual.
Ha! There have been times, when things have been partcularly bad with my husband's family, that I've comforted myself with the if-I-file-for-divorce-I-will-never-have-to-see-any-of-these-jerks-again scenario. I'd like, just one holiday from my entire adult life, to be able to anticipate the day. Just...once...
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