A little boy who apparently meets his tutor at the library has become more and more troublesome lately: in the building for hours on end; loud, hyper....he's obviously disabled in some fashion and is very, very odd. Creaky little voice. Bounces off the walls. Nice enough kid.... probably shouldn't be at loose ends, but that's really none of our business: we don't provide supervision to minors. At least he's here during the day and not after school, when I wouldn't trust our regular crowd to treat him appropriately. Yesterday the decision was made to ignore him unless his behavior was overly disruptive, then, if need be, we're to ask him for his parents' name/phone number. There was a certain amount of discussion about whether or not he'd be capable of relaying the information and/or becoming overly upset by being approached (truly, he is a strange child) but that's the plan.
This morning as I was slumped morosely over a cup of coffee while my bath filled, regretting the decision to take a sinus caplet at bedtime the night before (always a trade-off: is it worth it to be able to breathe if I can't sleep?) Nate came in from his run and told me he was going to take the van and get a mile-check on how far he'd gone. Even though I was already pressed for time, I said I'd ride along. Ten minutes into the drive, I heard a familiar voice calling a dog, and who do I see out my window? Our unattended minor, standing on the porch of a little blue house. I made note of the address and was able to figure out his probable name and phone number....just in case. Poor lamb.
I was filling Nate in on why this little boy had caught my attention, and he asked what he'd looked like. HE'D stopped by the library Thursday night just in time to see our security guard (Larry. He's great) boot this smart aleck out and wondered if it could be the same kid. After I'd stopped howling with laughter and slapping my thigh- the same child! Well, no. That would be too much of a coincidence, and besides: drop by any time and you stand the chance of seeing some wanna-be delinquent mouthing off to Larry. This child is something else entirely. He's not deliberately doing anything "bad" (unlike the brat Nate observed being ejected. He had quite a bit to say about this child's behavior) and isn't trying to draw attention to himself, which makes it harder to know what to do. Too, there's an I-know-we're-not-providing-baby-sitting-service-to-this-kid-but-how-do-we-stand-by-and-ignore-the-obvious-benign-neglect-going-on-here issue: we run into this rather more frequently than we'd like. If this child were mine and I assumed he was behaving appropriately while out of my sight, I would want to know if he wasn't. On the other hand, I've put a lot of thought and effort into giving my own nutty child what I hope is an appropriate degree of independence and wouldn't want anyone else second-guessing my decisions....unless she was behaving imappropriately while I wasn't around. Hmm. Hmmm. HMMMMM. Well: not our responsibility.
2 comments:
Except, you know what? I think to a degree it is our responsibility. Just yesterday, we in the back dungeons got into a discussion about the proposed high school student sit-in. We were reminded that the library is NOT public property, though the front sidewalk is. Don't be fooled by the word "public" in our name; we have the right to decide who should be present, based on our rules of conduct, etc.
Many of us are aware of the young one who has been apparently abandoned at our place. Seems to me there shouldn't be anything wrong with approaching the tutor and asking if there isn't some way for the tutor to see that the child is not left unattended. Is the problem that the tutor is late? Does the parent not arrive on time after the session is over? What's the deal? But, no, we aren't to approach the tutor. Is it possible that the schools should be providing a place for this tutoring to happen? And if not, why not?
Sometimes I think we bend over backward to be accommodating and in the course of that yoga move, we leave common sense by the wayside.
Sigh...
If I had to guess, I'd say that this kid has left the public schools and is being home schooled, because he's here during school hours and I can tell just by observing him that he falls into that category of special-needs that our schools just plain aren't equipped to handle....which leads to a LOT of children who need intervention being removed from school out of frustration/due to behavior issues/etc. and being "taught" at home when what they really need is- oh, never mind. I'll put my soapbox away before I whip myself into a frenzy.
I'd say by all means approach the tutor! Do it very politely and tactfully: we're trying to help this boy, not criticize him, and what's wrong with gently pointing out that something needs to change? To me, this falls under the same category as when I see an unattended toddler at a park: do I take the not-my-problem approach when he runs into the road? It's a quandry. (Did I spell that correctly???)
Post a Comment